Throughout the Eurozone crisis the Brussels-Berlin axis has been obsessed with saving the banks at any cost and sticking it to the deviant states such as Greece, Ireland, Portugal, Spain. The axis was determined to make European taxpayers pay through the nose, to destroy several economies, to plunge the whole zone into recession and growing unemployment in order to save the banks.

Then all of a sudden hey! Hang on! No. Lets do something else. Lest change savers into investors, lets grab bank savings instead and “save” the banks (or whatever may be left of them) in this way. Hence the Cyprus coup, or rather coup de grace! And then the games begin. Cyprus a unique case! Then no this is a template for the future. Then, no it is a once off, then Olli Rhen himself, the Grand Master of European Nonsense Economics states it clearly again. Yes! This is what we shall be doing from now on.

Meanwhile in Greece, after being pushed and shoved and coerced into merging the country’s banks into three major ones, the troika comes back with another, hang on! No! You can’t do that! The National Bank Eurobank merger must not go ahead! And what the troika says, Samaras and Stournaras scuttle and do regardless.

Now, humankind cannot bear to remain in the dark over anything. It must have some kind of explanation for the most nonsensical of things. And that is what religions are for. To explain the unexplainabe so people can just shrug it off as “God’s will” rather than nonsense! and absurd!

And when humankind cannot have recourse to religion for this, it turns to conspiracy theories. There simply must be some reason why, however dark and satanic it may be! And in the case of Euro nonsense economics, conspiracy theories abound. The Cyprus decisions and such were made so money would rush out of the banks of southern Europe and into the “safe” coffers of German banks. Thus saving them from bankruptcy. For instance. And this one is based on solid logic.

Other theories pertain to the German hunger for “Mastery in Europe”, a revival of the third Reich by other means. And so on and so forth. But no. There are no dark conspiracies afoot. The inexplicable has not been hatched up in some secret smoked filled room, or in a bunker!

Unfortunately I fear the explanation is much simpler and much more terrifying. Europe’s fate has fallen into the hands of a bunch of incompetent, narrow minded, unimaginative, dogmatic people who have lost all touch with reality. Their scope is extremely limited and goes no further than their own personal (not even their country’s) ambitions. To win the coming election, to retain the plush sinecure of President of Europe or the Commission or whatever else and so on.

So they do not even understand the real problems, still less what to do about them and God forbid that they should even realise just how catastrophic their own self centred shenanigans really are. Their way of “dealing” with the problems is piecemeal, amateurish little trick of lets try this and see if it works. Lets bully everybody into thinking we know what we are doing. Which is why they are so inflexible and never admit that something may not be going quite right.

Instead they keep coming up with “quick fixes” and slip shod partial remedies all designed simply to kick the can down the road, till the next elections or something like that.

In effect they are acting like the proverbial sorcerer’s apprentice. They think they can do what the sorcerer does. They try out his odd little spells which they have no idea how to control, and end up wreaking mayhem, because they don’t have a clue what they or doing or what their tricks will provoke.

In the end they will end up drowning under the mess they have created on their own. Not unlike the Disney Fantasia version. (Watch this to the end. It is great!)

No. She isn’t a Hitler. She’s one of those school marms who is convinced she always know best and will give you a whack over the knuckles to prove it!

Well you don’t need to be an economist, still less a genius to know that the Eurozone is in one hell of a mess. The causes are many, boiling mainly down to the state of denial of the Eurozone’s leadership. Their entrapment in the closed view of their own particular and narrow interests. Whether of their own states, or their own jobs or just their own electoral advantage.

Now that’s no way to run a football club, let alone a country, let alone a would be union.

Nevertheless, when the history of this tragic period is finally written, I expect it will go down as the most horrendous period of attempted social engineering, where the concept of “human being” was obliterated by the direct descendents of the Enlightenment and the Rights of Man, in favour of nebulous arithmetical (badly done) sums and the narrow self serving advantage for a select few.

– Joblessness in the currency bloc hit an all-time high of 12% in February

– Eurozone lending declines

– Slump in eurozone manufacturing could prompt ECB to cut rates

Well now. These are all today’s headlines. The direct result of the Teutonic policy of punish them to teach them a lesson they will never forget!!!!

Congratulations Frau Merkel and Herr Schauble, You have accomplished all you set out to do. You have brought the Eurozone down to its knees and very possibly even endangered the very’s Euro’s existence. At least you have made certain that a good many Europeans will say, Good riddance to bad rubbish, once it does go.

But what has Germany gained? Even her own output is falling, and worse to come is on the horizon. So what has she gained? Well, a power trip for starters. She has shown quite clearly, thanks to the likes of Baroso, Rumpuy, Rajoy and Samaras… and perhaps Hollande too, that she is the boss and everyone will do as she says. or else!

Yes. And?

Well, isn’t that enough? Hmmmm….

There is one thing wrong in all this. Thee EU and its component the Eurozone are supposed to be entities for the advancement of the continent’s economy. First the single market, then (the badly designed) Euro and all that building up into an Economic Union.

Only the Germans don’t get that. They seem to think it is all about kicking the little guys when they are down so you can dominate. And that is what she has done. Never mind that all she has done is cut off her nose to spite her face.

So when it is an issue of getting economies working again, rather than a policy of teaching your subordinates a lesson they will never forget, it is preferable to make you partners an offer they cannot refuse.

Because one thing they will never forget is how stupidly harsh you treated them when they were down. And never buy anything from you again if they can help it!

Well now, we have just found out that that nice young Dutchman with the fuzzy hair and the even fuzzier brain is not only not experienced but not even a real economist at all. Mr Dijsellbloem has specialised in some kind of agrarian economics and is in fact a pig farmer. I suppose the nice gentleman in the wheel chair who is undisputedly top of the class thought this was apt.

Anyhow, we have all these technocrats busily crunching the numbers, totally distanced from anything going on in the real world, imagining that the PIIGS are really what pork comes from rather than just a nasty abbreviation, in their ingenious attempts to “save” the countries of the Eurozone and the Euro.

However the more they go about “saving ” us in this disingenuous manner, the less “saved” we become. This has all now reached a point when it looks as though not only we, the pigs the farmer has come to set straight, but the Euro itself is teetering on the brink.

So the number crunchers keep crunching and every time they have crunched them enough to come up with a wizard idea like the infamous haircut of the Greek bonds or the even more infamous haircut of deposits in Cyprus, whereby a deposit is no longer a deposit but an investment….!!!!

They fail to examine any of the possible repercussions of their brilliant ideas which are usually nothing more than the result of puerile arithmetical sums. Such as, if we raise VAT from 19% say to 23%, then we shall increase revenue from VAT by 4%!

Herr Schauble may well be top of his kindergarten class, but he has no idea of strange complex things like the multiplier effect or elasticity of demand. Let alone how complex a real capitalist economy is. All he knows is that if I have three sweeties and take away two, I will be left with one! And he is so delighted that he can work that one out as to preen himself on being top of the class!

So when the crunch finally comes, and it does look closer than ever now, all these number crunchers will throw up their arms in despair since they never realised that all their number crunching would lead to would be the inevitable crunch, and despair. Leaving it to people of the real world to clear up the horrendous mess they have made. While they conveniently disappear into tax havens throughout the world!

“Slovenia’s central bank governor has denied that his country is at risk of seeking a bailout.

With speculation swirling that Sovenia’s banks are being dragged down by bad loans, Marko Kranjec told the STA news agency that the country was stable.”

Whoops! Now haven’t we heard that one before?

But isn’t it about time we all ganged up together against the current tyrant destroying Europe with such delight that they are top of the class at school and the rest of us just madly jealous of them?

Alas, however, Schauble knew what he was talking about when he sneered about being top of the class. The rest of us are indeed just schoolboys pointing fingers at each other as we try to blame the bad boys of the class so we will not be associated with them!

Common guys! Lets grow up!

Nero was the infamous Roman Empire in the days of the Empire’s decline, and admirably portrayed by Peter Ustinov in the 1951 film “Quo Vadis”.

At the peak of his power, when no one dared voice a mild opinion let alone disagree with him, he decided to burn Rome. The Capital, the seat of his Empire.

What has this to do with Europe? Well now, lets see. At the height of her post war hegemony, the imperial force of the European Union has set fire to itself and Europe is beginning to go up in flames. In fact, this is what Europe is coming to, after the hegemon decreed that the very basis of capitalism, banking credit should go up in smoke:

Note the high officials round the Emperor. Don’t they look just like Barroso, Rompuy and all the other side kicks too terrified to even object to the utter destruction of their own city?

Thank God! Cyprus has been saved! The island has been thrown onto the road of European salvation…. German style. And since Germany has learnt from her mistakes, it will not take Cyprus a couple of years to succeed in increasing its Unemployment levels to near 30%, nor will it have to wait a couple of years before achieve a whopping 23% shrinkage of its economy.

No! This time the German plan will work much better. Cyprus is not only expected to achieve Greece’s spectacular success, but to achieve it in several months! And whatsmore, it is even expected to surpass the Greek achievements far far sooner!

We all owe our salvation and very existence to The Great Frau and her incredibly successful economic policies. But for Germany to have helped in such a way we owe thanks to the values of The European Union. In particular to the ingrained value of Solidarity among member states.

Just imagine what would have happened to Greece if Germany had not rushed to her help and put her on the path of…. such brilliantly growing unemployment, poverty, pauperisation? Just where would she be now? No wonder they are dancing in the streets in Nicosia and celebrating. Thanks to solidarity, they will achieve all this and more in far less time!

So just imagine. If this is what solidarity can do…. Just what would a lack of solidarity have entailed? Napalm bombing? A nuclear strike? Or maybe just a reinstitution of the gas chambers? With new technology, of course.

What kind of a world is this when Dr Strangelove has been resurrected from the dead and is well on the way to ruining not just the ill fated European project but perhaps even the global economy?

What kind of a world is this when the German jack boot is yet again stomping all over Europe, crushing the poor and the weak first and foremost?

What kind of a world is this when figures like the Head of the IMF and the former President of the French Republic are under investigation for criminal activities?

What kind of a world is this when all these seedy characters invoke morality in imposing their crushing destructive plans on what used to be known as innocent victims?

But Dr Strangelove has turned this round. There is no such thing as an innocent victim. By definition all his victims are guilty! But you would expect no less of Dr Strangelove, would you?

What kind of a world is this when it is the victim’s own fault and Dr Straneglove gets away with his machinations scott free?

Well, certainly not the one Jean Monet ever dreamed of!

Well, we all know the saying, don’t we? What happens if you take a sledge hammer to crack a nut?

It seems The Frau’s intrepid side kick little Wolfie did precisely that. One hell of a sledge hammer to crack the nut of Cypriot banks. Clever boy. I expect The Frau thought she ought to give him a pat on the head for this. Until the fallout came scattering down.

Of course it isn’t his fault. And it isn’t The Frau’s fault and it isn’t the Eurozone’s fault and it isn’t the fault of whatisisname who replaced Juncker. And it isn’t the fault of the Commission and… No its all the fault of the Cypriots themselves for having such a bad banking model! Serves them right! So there!

Well we know that one too. It’s all the fault of the rape victim for “leading the culprit on”.

Hmm…. Things do not seem to be boding well in Euroland.

And oh dear! The Frau has not won her elections yet as meticulously planned. Not that she’ll lose them of course. Though she has got quite a lot of mud in the face so far. But September is light years away.

For everyone.