Well now, we have just found out that that nice young Dutchman with the fuzzy hair and the even fuzzier brain is not only not experienced but not even a real economist at all. Mr Dijsellbloem has specialised in some kind of agrarian economics and is in fact a pig farmer. I suppose the nice gentleman in the wheel chair who is undisputedly top of the class thought this was apt.

Anyhow, we have all these technocrats busily crunching the numbers, totally distanced from anything going on in the real world, imagining that the PIIGS are really what pork comes from rather than just a nasty abbreviation, in their ingenious attempts to “save” the countries of the Eurozone and the Euro.

However the more they go about “saving ” us in this disingenuous manner, the less “saved” we become. This has all now reached a point when it looks as though not only we, the pigs the farmer has come to set straight, but the Euro itself is teetering on the brink.

So the number crunchers keep crunching and every time they have crunched them enough to come up with a wizard idea like the infamous haircut of the Greek bonds or the even more infamous haircut of deposits in Cyprus, whereby a deposit is no longer a deposit but an investment….!!!!

They fail to examine any of the possible repercussions of their brilliant ideas which are usually nothing more than the result of puerile arithmetical sums. Such as, if we raise VAT from 19% say to 23%, then we shall increase revenue from VAT by 4%!

Herr Schauble may well be top of his kindergarten class, but he has no idea of strange complex things like the multiplier effect or elasticity of demand. Let alone how complex a real capitalist economy is. All he knows is that if I have three sweeties and take away two, I will be left with one! And he is so delighted that he can work that one out as to preen himself on being top of the class!

So when the crunch finally comes, and it does look closer than ever now, all these number crunchers will throw up their arms in despair since they never realised that all their number crunching would lead to would be the inevitable crunch, and despair. Leaving it to people of the real world to clear up the horrendous mess they have made. While they conveniently disappear into tax havens throughout the world!

“Slovenia’s central bank governor has denied that his country is at risk of seeking a bailout.

With speculation swirling that Sovenia’s banks are being dragged down by bad loans, Marko Kranjec told the STA news agency that the country was stable.”

Whoops! Now haven’t we heard that one before?

But isn’t it about time we all ganged up together against the current tyrant destroying Europe with such delight that they are top of the class at school and the rest of us just madly jealous of them?

Alas, however, Schauble knew what he was talking about when he sneered about being top of the class. The rest of us are indeed just schoolboys pointing fingers at each other as we try to blame the bad boys of the class so we will not be associated with them!

Common guys! Lets grow up!

Nero was the infamous Roman Empire in the days of the Empire’s decline, and admirably portrayed by Peter Ustinov in the 1951 film “Quo Vadis”.

At the peak of his power, when no one dared voice a mild opinion let alone disagree with him, he decided to burn Rome. The Capital, the seat of his Empire.

What has this to do with Europe? Well now, lets see. At the height of her post war hegemony, the imperial force of the European Union has set fire to itself and Europe is beginning to go up in flames. In fact, this is what Europe is coming to, after the hegemon decreed that the very basis of capitalism, banking credit should go up in smoke:

Note the high officials round the Emperor. Don’t they look just like Barroso, Rompuy and all the other side kicks too terrified to even object to the utter destruction of their own city?

Thank God! Cyprus has been saved! The island has been thrown onto the road of European salvation…. German style. And since Germany has learnt from her mistakes, it will not take Cyprus a couple of years to succeed in increasing its Unemployment levels to near 30%, nor will it have to wait a couple of years before achieve a whopping 23% shrinkage of its economy.

No! This time the German plan will work much better. Cyprus is not only expected to achieve Greece’s spectacular success, but to achieve it in several months! And whatsmore, it is even expected to surpass the Greek achievements far far sooner!

We all owe our salvation and very existence to The Great Frau and her incredibly successful economic policies. But for Germany to have helped in such a way we owe thanks to the values of The European Union. In particular to the ingrained value of Solidarity among member states.

Just imagine what would have happened to Greece if Germany had not rushed to her help and put her on the path of…. such brilliantly growing unemployment, poverty, pauperisation? Just where would she be now? No wonder they are dancing in the streets in Nicosia and celebrating. Thanks to solidarity, they will achieve all this and more in far less time!

So just imagine. If this is what solidarity can do…. Just what would a lack of solidarity have entailed? Napalm bombing? A nuclear strike? Or maybe just a reinstitution of the gas chambers? With new technology, of course.

What kind of a world is this when Dr Strangelove has been resurrected from the dead and is well on the way to ruining not just the ill fated European project but perhaps even the global economy?

What kind of a world is this when the German jack boot is yet again stomping all over Europe, crushing the poor and the weak first and foremost?

What kind of a world is this when figures like the Head of the IMF and the former President of the French Republic are under investigation for criminal activities?

What kind of a world is this when all these seedy characters invoke morality in imposing their crushing destructive plans on what used to be known as innocent victims?

But Dr Strangelove has turned this round. There is no such thing as an innocent victim. By definition all his victims are guilty! But you would expect no less of Dr Strangelove, would you?

What kind of a world is this when it is the victim’s own fault and Dr Straneglove gets away with his machinations scott free?

Well, certainly not the one Jean Monet ever dreamed of!

Well, we all know the saying, don’t we? What happens if you take a sledge hammer to crack a nut?

It seems The Frau’s intrepid side kick little Wolfie did precisely that. One hell of a sledge hammer to crack the nut of Cypriot banks. Clever boy. I expect The Frau thought she ought to give him a pat on the head for this. Until the fallout came scattering down.

Of course it isn’t his fault. And it isn’t The Frau’s fault and it isn’t the Eurozone’s fault and it isn’t the fault of whatisisname who replaced Juncker. And it isn’t the fault of the Commission and… No its all the fault of the Cypriots themselves for having such a bad banking model! Serves them right! So there!

Well we know that one too. It’s all the fault of the rape victim for “leading the culprit on”.

Hmm…. Things do not seem to be boding well in Euroland.

And oh dear! The Frau has not won her elections yet as meticulously planned. Not that she’ll lose them of course. Though she has got quite a lot of mud in the face so far. But September is light years away.

For everyone.

Barroso focuses on youth unemployment

We are told.

He noted various schemes that have been targeted at reducing youth unemployment, including the Youth Guarantee, which would promise young Europeans either a job, further education, or work-focussed training, at the latest four months after becoming unemployed. Barroso said:

I really saw a commitment of the heads of state and government to address this problem with the sense of urgency required.

Herman Van Rompuy calls for jobs policy

There is a need for a specific employment policy, making our growth more labour-intensive.

It appears that these top job over paid sinecures at the summit of the EU nomenclatura turn your brain into mush. Unless of course their brains were always mushy. Which is probably what made them eligible for the job in the first place. After the likes of Jacques Delors, the likes of Angela Merkel wanted “Noddies” for the job. That is yes men with mush in their heads instead of brains.

So. What wonderful proposals! The “Youth Guarantee”, and all that is supposed to entail. Training for jobs that aren’t there for instance. Not to mention the fact that most of Europe’s unemployed youth are already well educated. But never mind silly little details like that.

No what about Herman. “making our growth more labour-intensive”  Yes! That’s a great idea! I guess he forgot that the whole idea of capitalism is to make it LESS labour intensive, and more productive! But besides that moot little point, “growth” he says. What growth Herman? Where?

More bombast, waste of time. waste of words, preening self importance. As to the “urgency” of heads of state and government to address this problem….  Hmm… I suppose he saw that somewhere deep down Merkel’s lovely eyes or somewhere. Or perhaps he had already hit the Bordeaux wine. (Which is the only reason why they hold these conferences anyway).

But just how do these bozos not realise, or rather not even dare hint that (deep breath) unemployment is the direct result of recession (and rampant unemployment the result of rampant recession), that recession is the direct result of the stringent austerity policy being clamped down on Europe by the infamous iron boot. And that if you do not make a complete about turn on this policy of strangling and destroying economies, you aren’t going to get very far with job creation schemes and other such nonsense are you?

The solution to unemployment is simple. Stimulate growth. And here indeed there is no other way to create jobs while strangling an economy through brutal austerity.

Of course, it is not as if either of these two gentleman do not know this. It’s just that they do not dare say so. And how could they possibly, when their very jobs and outrageous pay and perks that go with them, are dependent on the Mistress. And all she wants is AUSTERITY! There now! So spare us the nonsense waffle at least!

Here we go again. The best and brightest, or, as the official description is the “heads of state and government” of the EU are all gathering together again in Brussels. To waffle, to take stands, to play to their galleries (especially the ones with elections ahead). To make vacuous statements about the need for growth. To pretend rising youth unemployment should be dealt with…

And a whole lot of other empty talk and posturing leading to nothing. Van Rompuy (who? Mr “who are you”) reminded that a decision had been taken to promote growth last summer. Indeed in had in words. What about some action? Action? The EU does not go in for such antics. Such as concerted action.

For all efforts, hopes, idealism or whatever else, the EU remains a collection of different nation states, each one only caring about how to promote its own interests against the union, with growing hostility between them and governed by narrow short sighted self interest. And Germany, now, feels free to throw her weight about and preen herself as top dog because, she feels, WWII is long past by now, isn’t it?

Well, we can hardly deny it. Out of political correctness or anything else.

Stamatis Phasoulis is not a politician, he is not an economist, he is not a technocrat. Subsequently he does not analyse politically, economically or technocratically. He is a man of the the theater, director/actor and maybe more. A brilliant satirist. And of course the image is his domain. So Stamatis Phassoulis in an interview on Greek state television last night made a brilliant analysis of an image.

The image was of Angela Merkel, the German Chancellor. He said, picture her in black and white. Think in terms of old photographs. You will realise that she wears a uniform. It is always the same. A tight fitting uniform. Something that is much clearer in black and white, because she has the same uniform in different colours.

Her hair, always the same too, brings to mind the  old fashioned way of cutting hair. You put a bowl or a saucepan on the head an cut away the protruding hair. This was the sensible, disciplined way of cutting hair. No fancy stuff. Rigour. Cropped hair and a uniform.

Does the policy she insists on and her way of imposing it surprise you any more?